Foodie Evolutionist T-Shirts

Darwin's Origin of Sushi.

From coach potato to kitchen potato!

Domestic Goddess.

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Before/After

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

Taken genetic engineering too far

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

"I 3-D printed my dinner!"

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

Error in low-fat pizza design.

"Robot waiters are OK, but I just wish they wouldn't hover so."

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

GM Kebabs