Foodie Culture Buff Pillows

"Zagat gave this place a 27 for gawking."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'I was in the catering corps.'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

Avocado Timeline

"Is it free-range?"

Culture clash

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

A tureen of chefs

Barbecue Fetch

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

Bedside Manna.

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

Chick in noodle soup.

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'It's all made by stateless people, wanderers, nomads, whose only anchor is cheese.'