Food Service Manager Prints

'The Gatorade is his.'

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Armstrong, we're out of napkins. Now we're not. Have you checked where we keep the spares? What spares? The ones in the round pantry. Are you referring to the trash can? You say "tomatoes," I say "organic multivitamins for sale."

"Rump roast?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"A little lamb please."

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"That's two tossed salads, one egg drop soup, and one pulled pork."

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'