Food Patent Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm sorry, but you can't take the leftovers home. They're all newly-patented items, and cannot leave the premises.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

6 Brothers Falafel

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Cheese Secret

"Fresh pepper?"

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Propane ran out.'

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

Ready, Steady, genetically Modify.

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Once he invented the wheel, it was only a matter of time before he came up with the food truck."

Patient with a drip on a micro scooter.

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

"We're making progress."

"Call me crazy, but I say we give up on medical research and develop really healthy mac and cheese."