Food Industry Observer Gifts

Hey, you're beef,aren't cha? I didn't recognise you without your can.

Cat and mouse

Another day in the Splenda mines

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Ghostbasters 3

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

Made redundant from Honda please help

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

Red Square. He's an important man, the caviar chief for the whole country. I still think he could have laughed when I call him the "Sturgeon General." I (heart) Moscow.