Food Critic With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'The 'Humungo Meal' comes with your choice of 2 sides...heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes or obesity.'

'Wait a minute...did you just double-dip?'

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

'Opened up a restaurant that served hospital food.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Jewish Geometry

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"They're doing wonderful things with food I hate."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'Oh waiter... there are no flies in my soup!'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"Trust you to pick a restaurant that serves indigestion tablets rather than after dinner mints."

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'They were about to reach a verdict until they heard ...'

'Brace yourself, dear. The doctor says I'm allergic to lousy cooking.'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"You all here? Sonny Primero? Big Guiseppe? Carmine? Al Fresco? Wait, where's Al Fresco?" "He's outside."

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

'Welcome monsieur et madame, may I take your coats, gloves and savings?'

'Perfect with fish?' ... That's sick!'

Amy hatten men who were naan committal.