Food Court Explorer Gifts

'You realize, the idea is to walk the entire mall, not just the food court.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

6 Brothers Falafel

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Your lobster was off!

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Is this still America?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Haute Chinese

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Bottomless bowl of soup

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

'I wanted somewhere like England, but in Spain.'

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"More croutons, sir?"

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Pastrami in the wild

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'