Food Analysis T-Shirts

'Felder, I'd like a woman's opinion. Why isn't this selling?'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"States of tofu"

Reading my Critics

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

GMOs: The Next Generation

Six Thinking Hats

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

Somewhere in France

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Cheese Secret

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Profit slump

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Micro and Macro Department,

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Population train.

"Remember, data doesn't tell the whole story."

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.