Flighty Orators Pillows

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

William Pitt the Elder

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

Nice speech, but you don't have that many friends. You better add "Romans and countrymen."

He did special exercises to stay calm during his evaluation.

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'Is not the evidence of the accussed, members of the jury, a earrage of evasion and lies Do bears, or do bears not shit, in the woods'

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

"Feel free to use it. It's an emergency escape hatch if you say something controversial."

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

Mile high skydivers

"You won't be needing that book, young lady!"

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

"Imagine the treat as if you already have it."

"Pastor, we think it's time for your sabbatical."

' Pol Meeting'

"We seem to be out of gas. I'm outa here! See you on the ground."

If you're really listening to the control tower, why are you playing air drums?

"With your rhetorical skills, young man, do you realize that you could become a mogul?"

Soap Box

J. Dudley - Statesman, orator, philanthropist, big deficit spender.

'Unaccustomed as I am, to public speaking...'

"We are dropping your column. Many readers think you're just to extreme."

"...and now a few words from the class know-it-all."

Wake up, Don. You're TED talking in your sleep again.

Speaker

"And let me be perfectly clear when I say teleprompters are a godsend!"