Award-winning Orator Pillows

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

William Pitt the Elder

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

Nice speech, but you don't have that many friends. You better add "Romans and countrymen."

He did special exercises to stay calm during his evaluation.

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

'Is not the evidence of the accussed, members of the jury, a earrage of evasion and lies Do bears, or do bears not shit, in the woods'

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

"Tough group."

"Oscar, we need a good actor to present the accounts at the next tax audit meeting."

Well spoken man.

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Imagine the treat as if you already have it."

"Pastor, we think it's time for your sabbatical."

Public Speaking Shoes

Mmpf Mfggle...

"With your rhetorical skills, young man, do you realize that you could become a mogul?"

Soap Box

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

Turkey missed the exit twice

' Pol Meeting'

J. Dudley - Statesman, orator, philanthropist, big deficit spender.

'Unaccustomed as I am, to public speaking...'

"I'm speaking with you this evening without the benefit of speech-writers or teleprompters. Thank you and good night."

"We are dropping your column. Many readers think you're just to extreme."

"...and now a few words from the class know-it-all."