Flat-pack Tactician Pillows

We regret that misprint on the box. Instead of saying, 'An 8 year old can assemble this' it should have read, 'It takes 8 years to assemble this.'

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'Handyman's Special'

DIY horror.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'What a control freak!'

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this stuff out, but..."

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

'I'll give him twenty minutes, then jump in and show him how its done.'

'Don't forget. When this photo shoot is over I get a bucket of shiners.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"Don't worry. Think of it as putting together that Swedish furniture...there's always pieces left over."

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

Flat pack sales assistant

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

A flat-pack cow.

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

'And this is your desk.'

Horse racing is the only sport where a 3 year old can make an adult behave like a baby!

"The Great Ikeamids"

"It's your new IKEA store, sign here."