Flat Earth Ponderer Pillows

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I met this woman. I fell madly in love with her, but just yesterday, I found out she believes the world is flat … Should I let that break us up? That depends, brother. Would you be happy not knowing whether she was into you because you're a great guy ... or because she thinks you're the mountain-master who pushes mountains up from the ground as she drives toward them, and sucks them back under as she drives away? Did I mention she'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

The New Normal

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"I don't see HIS name on it."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"You have reached the edge of town."

You know, if you made it with a sphere, it wouldn't need a railing. Plan.

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

Formula.

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'I think that's always how it's been!'

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

Where Meteorites Come From. Ahh-choo!

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'