Fitness Fashion Critic T-Shirts

"Can't you take up some kind of sport that doesn't involve spandex?"

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Mod Kwan Doh

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"I hate this time of year."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Do you have pants in XL?"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'It appears I have too much cargo for my pants.'

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"