Fitness Fanatics T-Shirts

'Okay. . . five more! Spring forward! Fall back.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'You have to actually exercise. Jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping breakfast and juggling two jobs won't do it.'

Having everyone do an hour of yoga in the office seemed like a good idea on paper.

'I can't figure it out. I swim all day and I can't lose weight.'

'Actually, I'm an athletic trainer. I just do hair removal on the side.'

'I can help you develop your triceps, possibly beef up your chest. But to be brutally honest, you need to be erased and completely redrawn.'

'I only weigh 95 Kilograms ... Thats 210 in pounds!'

Emergency services on a tread mill

Step class member taking the elevator at work

Acme Tummy Flattening Kit

'I've told you before Ralph, touching your knees fifteen times a day isn't going to do it!'

'He's tagging exercicse equipment to study its migratory patterns as it travels from lawn sale to lawn sale.'

'Elizabeth, dangit, woman you are testing my patients.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Spiky treadmill.

"I'm starting to see some real definition in my abs."

"You got this, gents! Sore today, strong tomorrow! Obstacles are opportunities!"

"Diet, exercise, evolution and a positive mindset."

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

Treadmill prototype

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

Caution - hazardous waist.

"I wish I could bulk-up like that."

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

Pregnant woman doing exercises.

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'

'The last time I stepped on that thing I had strained vocal cords for a week.'

'How do you like the new aerobics instructor?'

Muscular Santa

Sports Day at the Monastery

"A new record for the 2 handed snatch, press and hernia."

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"