Fitness Buff With A Gadget Obsession Prints

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Speed reader...?"

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"You exercise with your phone?"

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"I WAS feeling fine but then the health app on my watch said I might be DEAD."

"I don't like it when he bangshis heyboard when he gets frustrated with his computer. But he needs the exercise."

"Too much information."

'This little gadget monitors my blood pressure, my pulse, and the performance of my very sleek designer running shoes.'

"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

"...I'm telling you clocking 'buy now' doesn't burn any calories."

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

Man waiting in line to self scan himself at a hospital.

'This is our low cal, low cholesterol, low fat model.'

"Let's take a quick power walk."

'If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer

"I am referring you to some alternative medicine..."

"All this damn spinning...shouldn't it be charging our phones or something?"

"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."

"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."

Weight Index Scale