Fitness Buff With A Gadget Obsession Prints

Water. Energy bars. Check ur phone.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Speed reader...?"

"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"You exercise with your phone?"

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Could I go back and forth a few times first? I've almost got my steps in for today.

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

"I WAS feeling fine but then the health app on my watch said I might be DEAD."

"I don't like it when he bangshis heyboard when he gets frustrated with his computer. But he needs the exercise."

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"Too much information."

'This little gadget monitors my blood pressure, my pulse, and the performance of my very sleek designer running shoes.'

"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

"...I'm telling you clocking 'buy now' doesn't burn any calories."

"He'll have the salad."

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

Man waiting in line to self scan himself at a hospital.

'This is our low cal, low cholesterol, low fat model.'

"Let's take a quick power walk."

'If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer

"I am referring you to some alternative medicine..."

"All this damn spinning...shouldn't it be charging our phones or something?"

"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."

"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."

Hmm. Yoga where you hold positions for a long time. I'll try it. I've got my mat. I've got my blocks. And I've got my � eReader.