Fishing Family Pillows

'Don't you think he's a little to young to take up fishing, Ralph?'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

The Baby Walker

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'Ahhh...'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Impressing dad.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Social distancing

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."