Fiscal Tactician Gifts

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

The president's men

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Offshore tax havens.

'I move we go on record for fewer imports here and more imports there!'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

"Today workers in socialistic economies sought private sector solutions. Workers in predominantly private sector economies want more socialism."

"It's written in invisible ink."

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'I didn't make any money last year because you destroyed my incentive the year before.'

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

'You can buy low and sell high, but they still tax you right down the middle!'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'