First World Ponderer Pillows

"It was horrible. I was stuck on an escalator for six hours."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'But what is the universe for?'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Chiller Theatre

"Have you been playing dice?"

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Sauce for the Goose

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

The Origins of Everything

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"I cross the road to forget."