First Visit To Eye Doctor Prints

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Well, well, well...'

"The first one's just a warning."

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Love is Blind.

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

Hospital Departments

"When I suggested you should walk a couple of miles a day I didn't mean to just see me!"

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"So what brings you in today?"

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'Now watch our sales increase.'

OMG.

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."