First Tv Show Pillows

"Hi, kid! Did you watch 'Sesame Street' today?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'There's nothing on.'

Before the Internet

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

TV-Man

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Time Machine Collision

TV jester.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'