First Pet Ownership Mugs

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Pick me!"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Foster failure"

"Cat box"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Man's best friends."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'He does lack social skills.'

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"