First Lady Fan Gifts

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

'Filby, we've decided to accept your suggestion for air conditioning!'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Man painting MOM on boat

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Hollywood or bust!

Forensic evidence now proves that the shots in the balcony weren't meant for the President, but rather the show's cast.

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

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"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

Rachel Anne McAdams caricature

Abraham Lincoln

Barak Obama on the Globe

Elton John

Dua Lipa caricature

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

Principal about Justin Bieber Junior High school: 'I was against letting the students name the school.'

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

David Letterman

Madonna

Plankton impersonator gets stuck in a whale.

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"Can you perform under pressure?"

'Really? -- I'd always assumed that Elton John was one of us.'

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"I think I'd rather wait till Benedict Cumberbatch does the audiobook."

Stephen Fry

"Don't be out late and stay within Wi-Fi-range."

Antonio Banderas

Amy Schumer

'Heretofore unnoticed resemblance between G. Washington and A. Lincoln'

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."