First-day Feeler Pillows

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

The First Day of Fall.

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

Choosing What To Wear.

"This is my first day. I don't have any yet."

Fan-Centric Stadium

Harv works the red shift.

'Don't mind him, he gets that way every Opening Day when I tell him he can't have a gun.'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"We need to hire more women."

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

"So how was your first day of teaching?"

I'll have that first pair you showed me. Sorry, they were sold an hour ago!

"Emotionally, I'm checking three bags."

"It's our standard contract. You agree to be a powerless and insignificant cog in our vast corporate machine and we agree to oil you occasionally."

'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'

'You must be one of the newest hires.'

Newly Qualified Teacher.

'You said you wanted to start off at the top, well, I agree. I'm having your desk moved up here as we speak.'

'Your first trial?'

'Remember. . . they can smell fear.'

'You can always spot the new employees.'

'I need to buy a briefcase. . . the legal system doesn't take you seriously when you work out of a 'Flintstones' lunch box.'

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'