First Contact T-Shirts

"Take us to your least douchebag leader."

"They certainly are jolly creatures aren't they?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

"First date hairball... awkward."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Romance

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Asking out a palm reader.

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"She's just being Koi."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Your place or mine?'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'