First Christmas For A Child Gifts

Darning the Stockings

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Tartine

"Young Frankenstein"

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

Robot Parts $5

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

City Zoo: Day Care

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Come dine with me!

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."