First Child Checkup Pillows

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Well, well, well...'

"The first one's just a warning."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"The cape comes off too."

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"So what brings you in today?"

'The needle was THIS big!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"You're flying a little bit right now, aren't you?"

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"Take up some light exercise or a sporting activity - as a football perhaps."

'You're not totally out of shape - you have a very muscular tongue.'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."