First Breakup Mugs

"I'm really not that upset about breaking up with Smiley. I thought I would be all obsessive and crazy...but really, I feel cool. I'm totally okay with it. Can you pass me another sticky note?"

'We'll always have plaster of Paris.'

"We can still be friends, right?"

"No, really, Smiley...where will you and me be in 10 years?"

"Smiley, where will we be in 10 years?"

"Hold on. Hey, Smiley! Ooh sorry...I can't! I'm heading out to play soccer with Cruz!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"I can't believe he brought her."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Large Emoticon Collider

The prying mantis,

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

Blues artis's daily list

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'