First Book Release Prints

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

"Meet the author"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

'Is this your first book launch?'

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

Sumo Love.

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

Book publishing.

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

Mary Trump

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

Meet the Authors

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

"Not to blow my own horn, but the ad for my book in the 'Times' called it 'extraordinary'."

"It's about keeping the bunny alive within each of us."

Meet the Oar-thor.

Getting Published

"This manuscript is unbelievably mature for a first novel but, sadly, we don't publish the unbelievable."

Hilary Mantel

"I took two lessons before I released my first album."