First Academic Semester Prints

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

University Soapflakes

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Welcome back students.

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

School Days

"At this school we stress critical thinking. And right now I'm very critical of your thinking."

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

Beginning of the school year

The End of Summer.

'She's taking Chinese and algebra this semester. Go on, Francine, speak a little algebra for them...'

Citations Needed!

Campus Map: Philosophy Department

'Turns out the Yahoos didn't invent the search engine.'

'You can't take the Ethics course-you're a Political Science major.'

'I don't know why we're starting school so soon. My mom hasn't even reached the end of her rope.'

"I can't believe school starts next week. The first math exam is gonna be a killer! Then in six weeks, report cards! I'll probably be grounded!"

'I did my homework, but it got lost in cyberspace.'

"Your mom and I fully support you in your pursuit of a college education...but...it's just gotten too costly and we're not going to fund you after this semester."

'I thought we retired last May.'

"Yes, Gary, I'm sure the school hasn't banned your math textbook. Now, go back to class."

'I hate the first day of school.'

'I know it all...I just can't remember it all at once.'

'Apple? No! I thought you might need a bottle of Aspirin.'

'No. I left my watch at home along with my freedom.'

Welcome to the Fall semester new roommates!