Fireside Chats T-Shirts

'I didn't say I wanted to Kindle books - I said I wanted to make kindling of your books!'

Marshmallows

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'Dog got your clog?'

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

"And another thing. When they start telling you 'You've still got it,' you don't."

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

'This looks like a really hot piece of gossip, Edna!'

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

'This is my chat room.'

"Life's what happens while you're busy quoting other people."

Friends huddling for warmth

'That's it now, Mrs. Baines - see you in the New Year!'

Grim Reaper reading a book in front of fire

You look tired, Randy. Hot date last night? I had a date. That is correct. But was it hot? A gentleman doesn't tell whether a date was "hot" or not. No … but you usually do. Didn't you just patent "Randy's Hot-o-Meter," the hat that turns from white to pink to red, depending on the hotness of last night's date? Did you know the inventor of bacon was vegetarian? He was? Who knows? Point is, inventions are not a statement of principles.

"We seem to have a lot more time together since George started working from home."

Lou's Barber Shop Discussions

The clock-side in the chimney-corner

'When are you going to cook dinner, it's almost time for breakfast?'

'Boy, that was a deep talk about the weather.'

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

'Is it just me, or are these summers getting hotter? '

'I welcome newcomers - They bring a breath of fresh gossip into the community.'

"I've been trying to remember all morning, lieutenant. Who did kill Cock Robin?"

'I didn't know he was a drinker until he arrived home sober one day.'

'Divorce was too complicated, I just retired from marriage.'

'I wouldn't trust Sheila with a secret - She'd forget to pass it on!'

Notice Board - Locally Sourced Gossip

"Do you mean to say that, for the last fifteen years, we've been trying to keep up with each other?"