Fire Hydrant Philosopher Pillows

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Courage. Love.

Critical Ethanol report

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

Life Imitates Arf....

Fuels paradise.

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

Clown Nightmares

"I've never trusted cows."

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

'I don't know art, but I know what I like.'

The oil crisis.

Bear bends hunter's guns.

The Lonesome Highway - Next 30 Miles No Shoulder to cry on.

Book Burning is Always Wrong?

An Alien whose spaceship has tun out of gas is about to meet a human with the same problem.

'Sure, this is great, but don't you think we should be exploring alternative energy sources?'

"He says 'fire no rocket science' - whatever that means."

"Ig a skyscraper collapses in the cit and I don't hear it...will we care?"

Business Networking Session: 'Sorry I'm late - I'll just log on...'

"I want to enjoy the greener grass on the other side of the fence, but the problem is that I don't know where that fence is."

"I've given up on trying to improve the quality of my milk: It just ends up mixed with milk from other cows in a big vat..."

An Autobahn with an automatic transmission control

"Oh, Hailey! You're so beautiful in the glimmer of the bonfire! If I didn't know it would make you pregnant, I'd give you a great big kiss!"

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'

Anyone who believes 'where there's smoke, there's fire' never tried to start a fire in a fireplace.

Deepwater Fish

"Y'know, back in my day, we didn't sit inside all the time staring at a fire..."

"I think the cots go in the tent!"