Fire Department Pillows

"We won't have time to save them both. Should I ask who they voted for?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Smokey The Tree"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Woman escapes with cats.

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

The New Normal

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Fire door.

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

Burning love

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

No Smoking.