Fintech Specialist Pillows

"AI tsumoney"

The day the stock market went UP.

In the Guru District

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

The Shrinking Dollar.

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"One question, what's a share option?"

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

"I was sent on a fact finding mission. Now I'm accused of insider trading!"

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

The Design Artiste

"Italy just bought France."

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

Euro Bait

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'