Finishing Childhood Gifts

Adolescence is Coming!

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Tree house.

'He's maturing early.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Super Student

"Recess does things to a man."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Serious Putty

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Playground Pipe Dreams

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

Trilby - Finis

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"Use your inside scream."