Finger Finesse Admirer Pillows

'Careful with that shotgun, it could go off.' - 'Don't worry, I'm covering the trigger with my finger.'

Love

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Man serenading woman with guitar stood next to a van that says 'Rent-A-Serenade, 24 Hour Call Out'.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

A stranger calls to see me

SAGE (unknown model)

"Really. I'll just come in for a minute."

"I'm still worried about not finding the end of your finger."

Tunnel De Trompe L'Oeil

"Why do we have such an exotic tree that it can only be unwrapped ina heatwave?""It's a symbol of hope!"

'Your eyes are playing tricks on you.'

Cat Vs Inkjet Printer Venn Diagram

Fire brigade, hurry, a man's trying to get into my room. You need the police. No, he's on the ground floor and he needs a ladder to get up to my room.

'. . . He can eat AND hold his bowl - all without opposable thumbs!'

Angling Competition

"No I haven't had my lip pierced"

"Uh - Oh, here comes old sourpuss."

'Uh oh. Operators are standing by.'

Caught their eye.

I've got half a mind to get one. As my old man would say...that's probably all you'd need.

Mozart

"I'm smart because I have so many fingers!"

'Can't you read? It says 'no smocking'!'

Your gavel says "no," but your eyes say "I want to see you in chambers, you handsome devil."