Finding A New Job Gifts

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Carefree luggage.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Reach for the Star.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Pipe Dream.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Make a lot of money."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

New Guy.

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

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