Financial Wisdom Seeker Gifts

Past Performance in No Guarantee of Future Results.

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'Insurance. Who needs it?'

"I haven't traded stocks in a while, so my broker charged me an inactivity fee."

'The best way to learn the value of money is not to have any!'

'Son, I've been nickeled and dimed my whole life, and believe me, nickled is better.'

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'

'It's from the credit card people, thanking us for their company cruise to Tahiti.'

I want to deposit one pound. Listen, it costs us three pounds to process the paperwork! Ok, give me two pounds and call it quits!

'Sell during a boom; buy during a bust - that sounds more like Warren Buffett instead of Buddha.'

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

'Time was when a fool and his money were easily parted...Now it happens to anyone!'

'Remember son: not a borrower but a lender be.'

'I just give advice, the market will determine if it was good or bad advice.'

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"Ideally I'd like to lose twenty pounds in loose change."

How to bare up in a bare market.

"Keeping up with the Joneses wasn't a problem, but keeping up with the Buffetts did me in!"

"Of course I have to blame myself for my situation. I shouldn't have been honest with my tax return!"

"Feel free to take notes."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."