Financial Strategies Pillows

Help! Sold Short - And Where Did It Get Me?

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

'Investors are going to love your product diversification.'

'To Joseph Atherton, who bought tech and small-cap stocks when they were high and sold low...'

"Leverage', by Goldman, Sachs."

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

"I see you're very creative. I like that in an accountant."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'The recession is over, again.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

"I just..."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'The market shifted on me.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

The IRS emptied my pouch.