Financial Satire Appreciator Pillows

Demonic Repossession

'Larry, have you seen the prospectus of our new 'chaos fund'? It should do well in the event of a global financial collapse.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"My plan moving forward involves fire and Brazilian passports."

Spot the difference.

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

Greek Crisis

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

Your son has a genetic inability to calculate. This forecasts for him a brilliant career in the Ministry of Finance.

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

God bless our home equity line of credit.

Golden bubbles

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Offshore tax havens.

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'