Financial Powerhouses Gifts

"Making money's eve more of a kick when no one else is."

'That's my boy...'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

Investment advice from father to son:"Learn to walk and then learn to invest. I'm depending on you to look after me when I grow old."

Advent Calender.

Bank Robbery Statistics

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

'One day son, all this will be theirs'.'

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

"The market was doing so well I decided not to hibernate this year."

'I'd like a job where I'm hated for having obscene amounts of money.'

"Mom, I made over $4 million dollars this year from my online business. So, instead of a children's book, read to me how the stock market is doing."

"Son, this is the key to success - it opens the room where we keep the money."

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

"She scares the hell out of me. She's brainy, creative and sexy."

Investment: Tired of Tech Stocks? Buy 'Pot' Stocks!

"Video game? No, I'm using the raise in my allowance to buy back stock."

Student Loan Lenders Are Predatory

Buy- out specialist

"Frankly, I find it quite insulting that we're often likened to dodgy bankers!"

'Whose job was it?'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

"I know it sounds like a sell out, but I made millions selling cat books and calendars."

"Hello, this is Bill Gates. Remember, nobody has a monopoly on safety, so buckle up!"

'I borrowed so much money to buy this thing I have to time share it with the bank manager!'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills,doctor.'

"I've looked at all the options and there's no pension plan we can afford that will look after us in old age. . ."

'Well, I'm waiting, Harris - this better be good.'

I think the word you are hunting for is 'plummet'.

"Perhaps you should try another financial system instead of capitalism."

"All my lunch money's in real estate."