Financial Phoenix Pillows

'I decided on a home based business after my car was repossessed.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"What's a debenture?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Soaring Profits

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Dow Jones drop

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

Saving for College.