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"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

"Analysts blamed the market's volatility on computer-directed trading while computers blamed it on analyst-directed trading."

"Today, stocks dropped on news the new federal reserve chief, Janet Yellen, is a 'rookie'."

"Anthony Houserman, I've found, is a fairly reliable barometer of the market."

'Stocks dropped and bonds rose on news that the economy is just one big balancing act...'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'Interest on home loans is down.'

"A mixed day on wall street. Growth stocks were down. Beaten down stocks were up."

"Why do you say bad words when you read the stock prices?"

"Your Board has decided to downsize its commitment to honesty and integrity by around 35% of the fiscal year."

"Your growth portfolio is stunted."

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

Lilliput twinned with Zurich

Financial crisis and layoffs

City Grocers: New for Xmas or Green Sprouts of Recovery!

'U.S. stocks surged on news that the government they all hate won't go out of business.'

Three businessmen looking up at the euro wobbling on a tree waiting for it to fall

'Stocks dropped on news that Bernanke was overheard whistling the tune 'Que Sera Sera'.'

Good day at the office?

Japan's economy heading for a serious downturn.

The market went up and down, up and down, up and down...

'Say - 'Ardex Mining', thats us - up up 3 7/8 last week.'

'They're so predictable.'

"Your husband's been feeling bearish lately?"

'Fiscal Cliff doom & gloom!'

"How can a company called 'Yahoo' be worth $44.6 billion?!"

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'The recession is over, again.'

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'