Financial Future Philosopher T-Shirts

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

Economic Downturns

"Money is life's report card."

Money god

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

Accountant Manqué

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'Well they often get it wrong.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."