Financial Forecasting Fun Prints

"The market shot up this morning, hit a ceiling around noon, before falling back, banging it's elbow on the coffee table."

European currency on the edge.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I don't like the look of this."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

"That was a rumor day."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

'Till debt do us part...'

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

Bookkeeping Club

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Masochism for stockholders.

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

'It's a glorious day over Wall Street today, with barely a 20 chance of the sky falling.'