Financial Fun Prints

'Amazing... the patterns are the same!'

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

'After reaching new heights, the stock market closed early due to an oubreak of acrophobia.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'This is the one the consultants felt had the greatest urban theme park potential.'

'...Mr Smythe of accounts and Mr Basher of overdue accounts'.

'Till debt do us part...'

'You overpaid, but it's not enough to cover the 'Overpayment Surcharge Tax'.'

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

"I think I finally understand inflation."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

It's a joint loan, but don't tell my husband.

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

"I have sold my car so I can afford this wedding."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"That was a rumor day."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

Dog Beginning For A Loan

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Masochism for stockholders.

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'I'd like to extend my overdraft...'

"I'd like a job filled with adventure where there'd be a good chance of claiming compensation."

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

'Well, well, well. . . I see you've hidden several thousand eggs in an offshore basket. . .'