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"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Shares Nosedive

The euro as a monster

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."

Bank of Greece: "Revolving Door...Turbo Speed!"

'Greenspan was back for a guest appearance. He didn't say it's gonna be a bear market. He said it's a beware market!'

'Honey, I swear, I wasn't out wallstreeting!'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"Is this an upturn or another calm before the storm?"

The slide continued: many of the staff took second jobs

'Look on the bright side, you can't take it with you.'

'Lady G., I think you should know ol' Warren B.'s holding period is forever.'

'And then I said, 'So sue me!'...'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

Cyprus - banks reopen.

You have 17 creditors that won't get paid this month. Eighteen, including yourself.

Greece & EU

'Today stocks tumbled on the rumor that there is no Santa Claus.'

'We're returning to a more traditional form of banking.'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

Junk bonds, inc. InOut trays.

Karate School. Self-Defense. I can't believe you signed a contract for a full year of expensive karate lessons! I know --- I'm still kicking myself!

'I'm sorry Jeeves, I'm going to have to let one go.'

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

'The only investment I'd suggest is that you rent a van, then put your office equipment in and take it to the pawn shop.'

"The annuities market is in turmoil..."

'Quick, Lassie, our credit cards are maxed! Get help!'

"Your company has gone bankrupt and you've been imprisoned because we gave you bad info? Didn't your mom ever teach you not to trust strangers?"

'The Stock Market rose sharply today, and everybody got a nosebleed.'