Financial Fail-safe Explorer Gifts

No Backup System.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

I think I can...

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

Euro Balloon: Please watch out for other currencies on your way down!

'We have an excellent investment counselor and if things don't work out, an equally good investment therapist.'

Domino Effect of Rising Gas Prices.

'I'll give you a HUGE bonus in bitcoins if you can explain to me what the hell they are.'

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"

"J.P. will be joining you by speakerphone."

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'

"By 2020 millennials will control half of all investible assets...and we're still paying her car insurance?"

'We've discovered the Cave of Missing Accounting Ledgers.'

"Joey, that's what sets us apart from other species - the ability to chase investment yield for fun and profit."

'Bank A' about to jump into to pool of competition followed by banks B and C

'I can still remember the days when you had a social conscience'.

'Help! Blew all my casino Blackjack winnings by gambling them on wall street!'

Contact Tree-Huggers.com for info on tax-deductible charitable trusts.

'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'

Herd of Hedge Fund Managers about to cross a river.

Get rich quick scheme! $500-

'I'm sorry, Sir. Your money has been squandered in high risk hedge funds.'

'No, it wasn't a horror movie, It was the gas bill'

Confidential Loan Co.

'Apples don't grow on trees you know.'

'I'll need a bigger allowance now, Dad, or I'll have to get a job.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single bank loan."

"By combing 21st century investment strategies with your traditional methods, we put all your booty into bitcoins and buried them under a palm tree in Trinidad."

"I know the stock you purchased is down 90 percent and management filed for bankruptcy but let's not read too much into that."

'I won't meet your demands for an allowance increase, so maybe you should become a free agent.'

"Plan B was to supplement my retirement income as a party clown, and that brings me to my loan application."

"Gone fishing for a small-business loan"