Financial Aid Seekers T-Shirts

"This won't be easy, given your grades. You'll need to find someone even dumber than you to co-sign."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Continuing education.

Will work for ETFs

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Bribes for Jabs

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

"It's not enough being a cat anymore. I want to be a fat cat."

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

Business men and women walking around following dollar signs.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Pinara fund

"I just think things will work out for the best, and by the best I mean me."

'He's a great leader...he doesn't care who gets the credit...as long as he gets the money.'

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'Look, you can actually see Bill Gates' office from here.'

'Quick...follow that rainbow.'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

What is possible/what is probable.