Financial Advisor's Nightmare Pillows

'Please help! Not unemployed, just living beyond my mines.'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

Saving for Retirement.

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

"Stocks go up, stock go down. That's why I jump with a bungee cord."

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

Investment Firm's sign, 'No guts, no glory'.

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

A businessman balancing on a unicycle that has a coin as a wheel, on the line of a graph of falling financial performance.

'My investment advice is to relax, stop and smell the roses, dig up the roses, bury a million dollars beneath the roses.'

'Crisis'

'This IS our retirement plan.'

Attack of the Investment Zombie

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

The trouble with Black Friday...is the following In-the-Red Monday.

"This is your plan to pay for our retirement?!"

An office collection for an employee penniless from too many office collections

The cost of smoking

'According to my bank statement...THEY are overdrawn.'

'I couldn't afford the lavish lifestyle I was living. Coming to accept that was freeing, although, not as freeing as I had hoped.'

'My wife left me and I lost my fortune. Well, not in this order.'

"If you aren't adverse to risk, I can put you in an attractive Ponzi scheme."

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'You have to spend money to make money, and Walter just HATES it.'

"Have you got anything to stop me worrying about my pharmaceutical shares?"

Wall Street Devil.

Economic Cliff Edge

Thrifty Credit Union

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."