Finance Professionals Pillows

Shareholder's Meetings

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

A vacancy in the Finance Department

How Banking Started

For the last time, Jenkins, it's FTSE.

'Fortunately, our decline was slowed here when the marker ran dry.'

'I'm doing 30 days for fiddling my expenses.'

"I'm in no hurry - if you wanna to go next."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"Here's an idea, instead of you signing off checks why don't we pay people electronically?"

"How much would you like to lend us, Mr. Hewitt?"

"Good day, young sir! Would you care to exchange your cows for some preference shares in Beanstalk Development Industries?"

"I told you it would work."

Global Money Markets Roller-Coaster Ride.

'When you cook up a figure make it an odd number like £321.42, not £300.'

THE BATTLE OF THE BILGE...My yacht's bigger than your yacht

'I was originally promised a post in finance.'

Toys - Business Model.

"I'm woried that our company motto makes us look shifty."

'I'm appalled, the bank's limited my bonus to 'grossly sickening' when I've earned 'outrageous'.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'I realise you've only been working here for six weeks, but our company has lost $2.4 billion, and you're the fall guy!'

'... And I don't like the way you talk about corporate greed as though it's a bad thing!'

The True Meaning of Christmas

"He has an unshakeable faith in modern technology...and now he's looking for a 'coping with a massive budget deficit' app."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Profit

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Spot the difference.

"What's a debenture?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!